Where do I want to be or what will my life be like in the next ten years or so? These are the repetitive questions that I have asked myself over and over when trying to predict my future. I pretend to know…but honestly I have no clue of the outcome. I tend to just “go with the flow” and I ask myself how far will that take me. I sometimes let my thoughts run wild in my head. You could say I overthink too much and I imagine what could be or what I could do. Not to say that I don’t try to make those things a reality and don’t be mistaken I’m not one to back away from an opportunity.   

I will strive for more and get what I desire. I’m just that type of  person. I could assure you that throughout my life I worked hard and was persistent. For instance with sports, I would go far and beyond my limits for a game or even training. I would hate every second of it at times having doubts that I can’t do it. But telling myself to suffer now and live the rest of my life knowing I did my all. The track was the stepping stone to break out of that negative energy of mine.

 The specific moment that changed my mindset was on a windy October day 60 degrees cold on an open field. My toes were a bit numb, stinging every time I took a step, feeling like a human popsicle. I recalled shaking uncontrollably from fear, and the cold, but despite that excitement was coursing through my body like a child going through a sugar rush waiting to compete in the race. Wearing nothing more than the team tank top and shorts. I stood by patiently until the race began. About 100 other competitors were waiting as well. 

I could feel the tension around me, swarming me like a predator ready to strike its prey. Knowing at that moment that the other racers meant business and were ready to take off at any time.Right after the Referee made everyone line up. 

I got myself into position, nervous a bit more, feeling the bone chilling sensation, heart thumping in my chest, and my nerves feeling like they were on fire. I was starting to break down a bit like a broken machine, nuts and bolts falling out of my head as I thought of everything that could go wrong. 

Once I heard the “BANG” that was unleashed from the Referee gun my mind went blank…I took a second to take a deep breath and bolted off. Running as fast as I could to the dark forest that awaited us, runners. During the race all I could hear was the dirt and sticks underneath my feet crumble as if they were bags of chips, as well as runners taking deep breaths from exhaustion. The race felt like it took a century, but the climax of the race was coming as I saw the finish line. Surrounded by an abundance of people roaring with cheers.

The others and I pushed ourselves to the limits to see who would make it. Overall, after the race I had the realization that there is no reason to be afraid of the starting line…also obstacles and new opportunities that await later on in life. Even today I hold on to that mindset like a prized possession, I don’t take anything for granted and I do what I have to because I believe self-belief and hard work will always lead to success and I don’t want to disappoint my parents. Who would always find a way to do everything and at the same time always make sure I had what I needed and wanted. Another instance that I could think of is my long fight with education.

 I’ll admit I’m not the brightest student, I tend to have a few hiccups here and there. Tests are my worst enemy, and I’ll always skip a beat from the temptation of looking at my report card. I will 

be terrible at a few subjects as well, Yet I don’t let the pressure get to me, even if it feels like a ton is on my neck. I will keep going and give it my all to the best of my knowledge and luckily get the high grade I fought for. That is a frequent struggle, but as they say “you live and you

learn”.Even art was a struggle at one point. From thinking I must be as good as Leonardo and knowing I could do better, I practiced endlessly till I loved the drawings I made. It wasn’t the next Mona Lisa, but it was something I made that was good enough for me. As I explain I’m this trying to figure out what I would like to pursue in the future which is sooner than I anticipated. Working weekends and going to school and at the same time making the effort of enjoying this year to the fullest to make up for all I missed from this ridiculous pandemic that we are going through.

 To sum it up though, this cycle of struggle that I went through and still going through is what makes me strive for more and what makes me the annoying and persistent person that I am today. I wouldn’t change anything, and a person that could think of that put my perspective in a  perfect quote is Oprah Winfrey who stated, “The whole point of being alive is to evolve into the complete person you were intended to be”, which I will keep trying to do to the very end.